An Historic Occasion


“Ladies and gentlemen, it is a beautiful day here at the White House and I’m Steven Jacobs with John Richards. We’re here today to witness the signing of a historic treaty that will open the entire Pacific Ocean Trade Organization to the US. The president is just about to sign it with the Chinese foreign minister and wait… something appears to be happening on stage… they’re pulling the tables back to reveal… a breakdancing platform? I think they’re going to… wait… here comes President Bush now with a boombox… can we get a closeup on the CD in his other hand? It appears to say ‘Booty Thumpin Beatz Volume six’. He’s placed the CD in the boombox and he’s playing it now.”

“Yes Steve, the crowd is really getting into it here. There’s the Canadian prime minister, he appears to be doing a small version of The Robot from his seat. Odd fact, did you know that dance-offs have been used for two centuries to end negotiations? George Washington started the tradition during his negotiations with the French during the revolutionary war.”
“That’s very true John. This is the first time though since 2000 that a sitting president has initiated a dance-off. Truly a historic occasion that will most definitely set a precedent for years to come.”
“Now Mr. Bush has picked a fairly liberal music set for this afternoon’s dance-off, including some oldies from the early 80s. We’ll have to see how the Chinese delegation reacts.”
“Ok John, the American and Chinese delegations have formed separate lines, with President Bush and the Chinese FM leading their respective groups. Mr. Bush is up first and he’s start with… yes, President Bush’s opening move is the worm ladies and gentlemen. We heard he’s been practicing at Crawford lately and it seems to have paid off for him. Alright, his first set is complete and he’s surrendered the platform to the Chinese FM.”
“Now the only experience anyone in the Chinese government has had with the dance-off was when Reagan made his historic visit, but the Chinese were able to impress the American delegation. It’s safe to assume that they’ve been practicing all those years.”
“It looks like that practice paid off too, because the Chinese Foreign Minister has just mastered the 360 head spin. I’m seriously impressed here Steve. His set complete, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has stepped up…”
“Wait John, I think British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is trying to join, yes, he’s got his entire delegation lined up behind him. President Bush appears to be willing to let him join aaaaaaannnnd… PM Brown takes the stage. I think he’s brought his own music too…”
“Daft Punk’s ‘Harder, Better, Faster’ from the sound of it. I wonder what dance he’ll choose here…”
“There’s only one dance here John, and that’s The Robot. This is an impressive performance. He’s almost at the mid point of the song, let’s see if he can pop lock and drop it. AND HE DOES IT! A flawless performance!”
“This is THE event of the season folks.”
“It sure is John. Well that’s all the time we have today folks, the remainder of the dance-off will be on CSPAN-2. We now go live to the Senate Historic Dance committee hearing on ‘Thriller’.”

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