THE ADVENTURES OF GUY AND JENNINGS: PART ONE: “Guess who’s cloning to dinner”
Note: My friend Taylor inspired this piece (and probably all subsequent pieces) so remember that.
Guy Jennings sighed audibly as his doorbell rang loudly, interrupting his attempt to concentrate on the football game. He heaved himself out of the chair and lumbered to the door, grumbling about door-to-door salespeople or whatever they were this time. He wrenched the door open, prepared to berate whoever it was when his heart stopped. Guy was looking at an exact replica of himself, a mirror image. A clone. He took a step back, his face a mask of fear and confusion. The man at the door looked equally frightened. After 10 seconds of starting at each other, Guy Jennings finally spoke: “Wh- who are you?” he managed to gasp. The visitor recovered much quicker however, stating his name carefully. “I’m Jennings Guy.” Guy blanched. He even had the same name. Well, almost. Finally, Guy became angry. “What the hell is going on here?” Jennings shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, I was just told to come here. Someone called me on the phone.”
“Oh. Well, uh, do you wanna come in?” asked Guy.
“Um… Sure. I guess.”
Guy stepped aside and let Jennings cross the threshold where he paused to take in the apartment. His gaze settled on the rug. “Hey!” exclaimed Jennings. “I’ve got that same rug!”
“Operation Tumultuous Upheaval is proceeding as planned gentlemen” said Agent 376, smirking slightly. “This morning, I sent Subject A (Jennings Guy) to meet Subject B (Guy Jennings) at his (Subject B’s) apartment. I predict that right now, they’re both trying to reconcile what they’re seeing.” Agent 376 beamed as he delivered the last line. He waited for approval from the chairman of the board, Agent 3. Unfortunately, Agent 4 spoke up instead: “Agent 376, what exactly is the point behind Operation Tumultuous Upheaval?” 376 smiled.”Well it’s quite simple really. We took an average Joe and turned his live upside down. Guy Jennings was an average… guy… before today, but not anymore. We’ve created an A-list movie quality plot here. Guy Jennings and Jennings Guy are going to team up and overcome their differences to arrive at the centerpoint of this vast conspiracy!” Agent 376 flushed slightly when he realized how excited he was about the prospects. “Wait a second” said Agent 4. “This conspiracy… Does it go all the way to the top?”
“To the very top. And even above that” replied 376. Impressed, the board members nodded and murmured amongst themselves.
“Order! Order!” shouted Agent 3. When the room had settled, he continued. “Good work Agent 376. Report back to us when you have anything new.” Agent 376 nodded, turned and strode out of the room.
Guy Jennings stared deep into his coffee, as if he was in a staring contest. He had only known Jennings Guy for about ten minutes, but he already liked him. That was easy of course, Jennings Guy was Guy Jennings. Or something. Finally, Guy spoke up. “So uh, what’s your story?” Jennings looked into his own coffee. “Well uh, I have an apartment on the east side, and I work in accounting at GloboMegaCorp.” Guy shuddered, he worked in accounting at MegaGloboCorp.
“No,” he said, “I mean what’s your story with me? How did you get here?”
“Oh, that. Well, uh, I woke up in the backseat of a taxi this morning and found this note”
Jennings handed a slip of paper to Guy “telling me to come here. So I did.”
Guy looked at the note: “Go to 376 13th Avenue.” Concise and to the point. He shrugged.
“So now what?” asked Jennings. Just then, a man burst through the window. Standing up, he brushed himself off and handed Guy a business card. “Agent 376” on one side, “Diabolical Malevolence Inc.” on the other. Guy handed it to Jennings. The three men stared at each other for a few seconds before Agent 376 spoke up. “Good morning gentlemen. I’m Agent 376.”
“Yeah,” said Guy, holding up the business card. “I gathered that.”
“Oh good. Anyways, as you’re probably both aware-”
“Say, why’d you burst through my window like that?” asked Jennings.
“Your window? It’s my window!” interjected Guy.
“We’re clones right? Then it’s my window too.” pointed out Jennings.
Guy nodded. “Yeah, ok whatever. So why’d you burst through my- our window like that? The door’s still open!”
“It’s mostly for dramatic effect” said Agent 376. “As I was saying, you’re probably both aware that you’re clones.”
“Why?” asked Jennings.
“Yeah, why are we clones?” seconded Guy.
Agent 376 smiled widely. “Because.” he said simply.
Guy started to speak up. “Because why?”
But before he could finish his thought, Agent 376 leapt out the broken window and darted down the hallway, leaving Guy and Jennings with more questions than answers.
NEXT TIME on “THE ADVENTURES OF GUY AND JENNINGS”!
• Who IS Agent 376? And will he be held responsible for that window?
• What IS Diabolical Malevolence Inc. planning?
• Why ARE Guy Jennings and Jennings Guy clones?
• Who IS the clone? Who IS the original?
Find out next time on “THE ADVENTURES OF GUY AND JENNINGS”!